You Have 27 New Messages
by Jade4813
Summary: After an encounter with Clark's powers of persuasion, Lois thinks she and Clark are getting married. She breaks the happy news to everyone in her life - much to the surprise of Clark, who didn't even know they were engaged!


**A/N:** I've been thinking of starting a drabble series, but I've been putting it off. The webclip for Persuasion inspired me, however! I'm not sure if my drabbles (all of which will be independent of each other) will be posted in one thread or if they'll be posted individually. If anyone has a preference, let me know!

**Drabble 1 | You Have 27 New Messages**

Clark wiped his forehead and looked around the warehouse district at the still-smoldering buildings, making sure the fire was put out before he sped away. An explosion at a chemical plant had gotten out of control, spreading through the area, and it had taken Clark longer than he'd expected to get the flames under control.

He felt the phone buzz in his pocket and pulled it out, expecting it to be Lois. He smiled at the thought, but his mouth dropped open instead when he glanced at the screen and read "Message Alert: 27 New Messages." Even as he watched, another came through.

Ducking into an abandoned alley, he flipped open his phone and dialed his voicemail.

_2:33 pm:_ "Hey, Clark! It's me," Lois purred into the phone, and Clark grinned at the sound of her voice. It was amazing how often such a simple thing provoked such a reaction from him as of late. She sounded almost giddy as she continued, "Gimme a call before you head home, okay? There's something I need to put away before you get here or it's bad luck. Okay?"

He was puzzled by her message as he hit the button to save the message – he had a feeling he'd want to listen to that joy in her voice a good dozen or so more times before erasing it.

_2:35 pm:_ "Crap! I just realized I forgot to tell you I love you on that last message. Love you!" Lois blurted. Clark chuckled and began to go through the messages more quickly.

_2:41 pm:_ "Clark, honey, it's your mother. Give me a call as soon as you get this. I just got the strangest phone call from Lois. Just wanted to make sure everything was okay."

Clark frowned slightly in confusion. Lois had sounded perfectly fine in the message she'd left

_2:42 pm:_ "Seriously. I'm not joking. Call me before you get home. We're talking epic levels of bad luck here, you got it? Earth crashing into the sun levels of bad luck here." Lois said firmly.

_2:43 pm:_ "Hey, Clark, it's Lucy! You know, Lois's sister? Yeah, of course you knew that! Anyway, I just wanted to say congratulations! Oh my god, I can't believe you guys are engaged! I'm going to be flying out there next week, and when I get there, I'm going to take you both out for a celebratory drink! I think Lois was a little too excited to tell me how you proposed, so I want to hear the whole story!"

_2:44 pm:_ "Lucy again. I forgot to say, welcome to the family!"

_2:44 pm:_ "Oh, right. And if you break my big sister's heart, I'll break your legs. Seriously. I'm not joking. You should know she's taught me a thing or two."

Clark's confusion was rapidly mounting into sheer alarm. Engaged? What was Lucy talking about?

_2:51 pm:_ "Kent, this is General Lane. I understand you're engaged to my daughter, so I suppose I should offer you congratulations. I have to say, the news came as something of a surprise; I didn't think you two had been dating for very long. I would have thought I'd get a chance to at least meet you again and get to know you a little better before welcoming you into the family. Since I didn't, there are a few things I think you should know. First of all, she's my oldest daughter and I love her very much. I also have an entirely Army platoon at my command. If you ever do anything to hurt her – if I even SUSPECT you've ever made her cry – I will make it my personal mission to –"

Clark's alarm was escalating into full-out panic, so he didn't even bother to listen to the rest of the message. Though he did save it for later (it might be a good idea to know what his girlfriend's father had in store for him, should he not manage to convince the older man that this was all a massive misunderstanding).

Apparently, Sam didn't get his full message across in one message, as his tirade carried over into the next.

_2:52 pm:_ "–black ops. Believe me when I say that these men have been trained to cause maximum damage to your body with minimum –"

_2:53 pm:_ "–total deniability. And a lot of men in my command really love Lois, so you'd have a whole platoon of pissed off soldiers knocking on your door –"

_2:54 pm:_ "I think that covered everything. So as long as we're clear about all of that, welcome to the family."

_2:57 pm:_ "Hey Clark, it's me again!" Lois's bubbly voice was a complete contrast to the level of threat in her father's. "I hope you don't mind, but I thought we could go to Greece for our honeymoon? I talked to the General, and I think he can take care of the arrangements. Okay, love you! Don't forget to call!"

_3:02 pm:_ "Uh…Clark? Ollie here. What is this I hear about you and Lois getting married? Is this for real this time, or is this another one of those things the two of you do just to mess with my head?"

_3:04 pm:_ "Clark, it's Chloe. What is this about you and Lois being engaged? Why didn't you tell me you were going to propose? I'm not sure this is a really good idea. We need to talk. Call me."

_3:15 pm:_ "Clark, it's your mom. I was thinking about the message I left earlier, and I realized it may have come off wrong. I'm of course thrilled that you and Lois are engaged! Your father and I used to talk about the two of you; we always felt there might be more going on between you two than either of you realized. I was surprised when I heard that the two of you are getting married, but I couldn't be happier! In fact, I was thinking…I have some free time coming up this weekend. I can fly out and spend a couple of days on the farm with you guys. I'd love to hear how you proposed! All right, see you soon, sweetie!"

_3:36 pm:_ "Chloe again. Your wedding is in TWO WEEKS? Clark how could you do something like this without telling me! Call me. Seriously. We need to talk about this."

_3:41 pm:_ "Lucy again. I've booked my flight out on Saturday; I should get in about 1. Could you let Lois know? Her phone's busy. I guess she must be telling people the happy news!"

_3:43 pm:_ "Clark, it's Ollie. I just heard your wedding is in two weeks. That's…wow…that's really fast. Not that I blame you; I wouldn't want to risk letting her get away either. But are you sure you're not messing with me?"

_4:02 pm: _"Hey, Clark! This is Meghan Ermler…you know, from Classifieds? Well, the word of your engagement to Lois is all over the newsroom, and I wanted to congratulate you both! I guess we should have known, when Lois –"

That was it. Clark couldn't take it anymore. The rest of his messages (which seemed to be increasing exponentially) were cut off as he pulled the phone away from his ear to stare at it in horror. Then he snapped it shut and slipped it into his pocket as he sped back to the farm.

After a quick stop in the barn to change back into regular clothes, he raced towards the house, not pausing even for a second before he burst through the door. "Lois? I've been getting really strange messages on my voicemail! What's going – on?" he finished weakly

Lois was dancing around the living room in a frilly white dress which looked like his mother's wedding gown. The sight of her was a shock, but it was also…breathtaking. At times, he'd found himself wondering what she would look like in a wedding dress, but she was more beautiful than he'd ever dreamed. Even though he could tell there was something wrong with the whole picture. Not only were they not engaged (he was still trying to find the nerve to ask her to go away with him for a weekend), but even if they were getting married, he couldn't imagine Lois would look so excited to be in a dress that was so…poofy and big.

Of course, now he doubted a day would pass that he didn't think about what their wedding would look like, some day. When the time came, would she be so happy at the thought of marrying him that she'd twirl around in her wedding dress, dancing along to music she only heard in her head?

"Lois?" he asked in a weak voice as she danced happily around the room.

She gasped and spun to face him. "Smallville!" she cried in a combination of joy and horror. "Why didn't you call me? Now I have to buy a new wedding dress!"


End file.
